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The Washington Post’s neologism contest winners.

December 2, 2019June 5, 2026 3265

I came across this today and broke up laughing. These are seriously clever! Thanks to the Washington Post. I wasn’t aware of their neologism contest, but I am now! Read and enjoy. Pass it along.

Do not place a photograph of your favorite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide.

Roddy Doyle

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Oscar Wilde

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

Robert A. Heinlein

The road to ignorance is paved with good editors.

George Bernard Shaw

Books aren’t written, they’re rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn’t quite done it.

Michael Crichton

Just don’t be boring!

Robert Liebmann

If you haven’t got an idea, start a story anyway. You can always throw it away, and maybe by the time you get to the fourth page you will have an idea, and you’ll only have to throw away the first three pages.

William C. Gault

Read a thousand books and your words will flow like a river.

Lisa See

No writer has ever yet been known to hang himself as long as he had another chapter left.

Thomas Wolfe

I get up in the morning, torture a typewriter until it screams, then stop.

Clarence Budington Kelland

Ever heard of a carpenter not going to work because he has “carpenter’s block”? If a writer can’t write, it’s because he doesn’t really want to, he isn’t ready to get it on paper or he’s just plain lazy.

Chet Cunningham

It always comes down to characters, and individual stories about courage.

Steven Bochco

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Mark Twain

I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as he finishes the book.

Roald Dahl

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

G.K. Chesterton

Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

Christopher Hampton

Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. That is the only secret.

Matthew Arnold

It’s an accepted fact that all writers are crazy; even the normal ones are weird.

William Goldman

When writing a novel, that’s pretty much entirely what life turns into: “House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1,500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.”